When you approach an attractive woman, what thoughts are running through your mind? One of the tricks for long-term success is to learn the right state of mind to be in when approaching a woman. Women are great at reading body language, but are not mind readers. Yet, when you approach a woman with positive intentions and confidence, your facial expression and body language reflect this, and she picks up on it.
Unfortunately for shy men, nervousness often comes across negatively for multiple reasons: she might wonder what reasons are behind the nervousness, and why you might not be successful with women. She’ll look for reasons to validate these initial assumptions; that’s just human nature. By contrast, if you can approach with confidence and a sly grin, she might read from your body language and expression that you have had success with women in the past (there must be something to it), and that she has no reason to fear that you’ll make things awkward for you.
You might think about how much fun that woman could be, imagining playful scenarios with her, and even picturing how much enjoyment she’d have to be so lucky to experience sleeping with you. The important thing is that you do not harbor intentions that, if discovered by her, would make her repulsed by you. Now, you might be thinking, “she would be repulsed by the idea of sleeping with me if I brought that up – we haven’t even met” – and this may be true for some women. But the fact that your intention is positive (with respect to her interests) is what counts, since you are not going to tell her you want to sleep with her (that should be communicated indirectly; ideally through subtle signals and your body language). You know that if she begins to learn about your intentions, that you have nothing to hide, and because of this you gain confidence in your communication – and it shows. You do not feel like a creepy guy because you’re not hiding anything – you’re just being genuine, playful and fun, while demonstrating that you enjoy being with her – yet don’t need her – through subtle cues. It’s important to send some cues that you really don’t need her because it’s the clingy guys that attractive women often fear most, since they come across such an overabundance of these “losers”. One of the best ways to not be that type of guy is to genuinely not need her – to have a full life with good alternatives to spending time with her.