According to a study by psychologist Danu Anthony Stinson, “affirmation seems to provide a psychological buffer” that lets us put aside social fears and anxieties.
There is a takeaway for those interested in gaining confidence and success with women: by building up and focusing on values (other than our relationships with women) that are central to our identity, we can improve our confidence and chances of success with women – and relationships in general. It’s a good idea to make sure your self-image is largely defined by a life outside of women; that way, you will exude confidence around women while not being as dependent on the outcome of your interactions with them. It’s not just a matter of lifestyle – building up that important core of your identity – there are two parts, the 2nd of which is the key takeaway of this study: first, make sure to have a life outside of women, and second, leverage it by actually taking time to focus on how that part of your life defines you as a person. For example, you might be good at a sport, or you may be particularly involved with a project or community. You can gain extra confidence by reflecting on this part of your life and realizing that it’s part of what defines who you are as a person. So, take a moment right now and do it.
The bottom line: by mentally reinforcing the values that are central to your identity (other than your relationships women), you become more attractive to women. Continue to build upon these values while becoming more conscious of them.